Dear Girl, God Is Not Against You

“Lord, why do I keep struggling with this?” “Why can’t I get rid of this attitude?” If you are like me, you’ve cried out in prayer similar thoughts. Maybe you’ve cried it out so many times you feel that God can’t possibly be for you. Perhaps you think he is against you, ready to punish you for your unrighteous ways. The truth is that God is not against you but instead delights in you.

Here are 5 things we can do when we don’t feel God delights in us:

1.     Acknowledge the lie.

If we do not believe that God delights in us, we instead believe God is against us. In order for any change to occur, we have to acknowledge that this thinking is untrue. We are sold this idea that God couldn’t possibly love us in the state we are in. This is exactly where the Devil wants us to stay. We won’t ask God to lean His ear down from Heaven (Psalm 116:2 NLT) if we don’t feel worthy in His sight. Psalm 18:19 reveals God’s love of us when it says, “He brought me out into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me” (Psalm 18:19 ESV).  God delighted in us before we were even saved. Therefore, any thinking of being too broken in God’s favor is incorrect. The longer we feed the lie that God is against us, the more permanent it becomes.

2.     Replace the lie with the truth.

The only way to stop believing something is to replace the lie with a contrasting truth. God doesn’t find us “good enough”; He finds us “very good”. Consider the God’s response after creation; the verse says, “And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31 ESV). Because of who God is, He is not out to get us. The new covenant is a covenant of grace; the new covenant says, “For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more” (Hebrews 8:12 ESV). God does not have a tally list of all of the sins. He saved us from our sins for a new purpose to walk by direction of the Holy Spirit. Our new identity may remind us of our sin, but it is not meant to point us back to God.

3.     Structure your day to allow for His delight.

If we delight in someone, we find pleasure in being with them. When we believe in our hearts that God delights in us, we will make time in our day to delight in Him. An article in Christianity Today says, “When we are not working for God’s approval but from God’s approval, then the regular rhythms of the faith are gifts to receive.” We don’t have to come to God like a guilty child who broke a window. Instead, we can come to God with expectancy to be with Him and learn what good plans He has for us. The opportunity stands for us to slow down and experience the presence of God, which brings: delight, grace, love, care, and songs (Zephaniah 3:17 ESV).  

4.     Put importance on God.

When we enter the presence of God, we are helped as we give God the rightful place in our hearts. If we don’t find delight in ourselves, we may be putting too much weight on ourselves and not enough weight on who God is. We cannot save ourselves. When we beat ourselves up for falling short of being worthy, we are overemphasizing the importance of our humanity. The underwhelming reliance on our Father’s help will maximize the feeling of inadequacy in our hearts. After reflecting on the “glory and honor” God has placed on humans, David exclaims, “O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!” (Psalm 8:9 ESV). In recognizing how much God delights in us, we should be lead to place prominence on God. Let the truth of God’s favor for you ignite your passion to live for Him.

5.     Voice your struggle to God.

God already knows how much we struggle with the idea that He delights in us. We may know on paper that God loves us, but applying this truth is harder. So what can we do? If He already knows our struggle, why should we keep it to ourselves? I think the most effective strategy we have is prayer. We should tell the same God who desires to be our help how much we need help in this area. We should voice our apprehensions for denying this truth. We can ask that God shows us His love in a tangible way. Even as we are learning this truth, we can praise Him for delighting in us. John Piper says we can thank Him for His “delight in our imperfect delight in Him”. As we come to terms with this truth, we can lean on God’s direction.

We must replace any thoughts that we could never be good enough with this truth that God was good so we didn’t have to be. When we come to terms with the idea that God delights in us, it should lead to a greater delight in Him. As we accept this truth, we can praise and thank God anyway for His grace and love.