I See You Trying To Be Everything To Everyone

I see you trying to please everyone.

I see you controlled by the fear of what others may think.

I see you weighing your decision on an unbalanced scale.

I see you trying to gain the approval of others by being someone other than who God made you.

I see these things because by nature, I am a people pleaser. When things get tense in a situation, I want to be the person who keeps the peace. I am more likely to stay quiet in a situation that I don't agree with to avoid conflict. It is like me to share things in my life with others so I can see what their input is. I am learning a few things about attempting (key word: attempt…. pleasing everyone is literally impossible) to please everyone:

1.     It robs you of your ability to listen to God’s Sprit.

When I constantly ask others for input in my decisions, I am unable to listen clearly to God’s Spirit in me.  As I am overwhelmed by voices with opinions, it becomes difficult to clearly hear the Spirit leading me. I become more focused on pleasing the wrong person. If we are clearly being told to do something by the Holy Spirit, it seems counterintuitive to continually ask others to validate that wisdom. John 4:24 says that we hear from God’s Spirit to our own Spirit: “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.” There have been times when I knew in my Spirit I should do/not do something and did not follow the Spirit’s leading. It is in those moments of distrust that I am saying that my way is better than His way; that is a dangerous attitude toward the King of Kings. If God’s Word is clear on how to navigate a situation, we have no reason to ask someone else what to do. We have faith to follow the Word of God, James 1:22 says: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” When we listen for God’s instruction and seek truth in His Word, we don’t need the approval of anyone else.

2.      You were not made to agree with or please everyone.

God made each person different. No two people have the same experiences, personality, or attitudes. Our experiences influence the attitudes we have toward life. If we agreed with everyone, we would be discounting the unique experiences that God has placed in our own life. I think that when we are able to hold to an opinion in face of disagreement, it makes our resolve on the issue even stronger. The other problem with people pleasing is that we were not designed to please everyone. Our Heavenly Father is the only one who deserves our respect. When we put other people in that place dedicated to Him only, we elevate them to a place that they are not meant to be. Emotions are faulty and change daily, hourly, dare I say every minute?! God is someone who never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). I would much rather put my trust in someone who is steady, unfazed by situations. 

3.     People you love sometimes need the hard truth.

If someone sees me walking down a path that dishonors God, I hope that they love me enough to confront me on this. Spoken truth does not usually feel good. It is uncomfortable to tell someone that they are slipping up. If someone is part of our circle and claims to be a child of God, we need to love them enough to refuse to see them fall. I don’t want to be the kind of friend who stays silent when I see my friend turning down a road with a Wrong Way sign. I want to be that friend that says, “I see what road you are going down and I love you too much to see you get hurt by the inevitable crash.” When truth is spoken in love, I think speaking the truth can be necessary.

4.     Conflict can be a good thing.

It is great to keep the peace and avoid conflict, if possible. However, oHowsometimes, conflict can be a good thing. We were not made to agree on everything. It is a good thing that we do not agree on everything. The goal of conflict should always be a result in unity. Unity does not mean we agree on everything. Unity means that we trust that God has created us to “put on love, which binds them all together…” (Colossians 3:14). Conflict can lead to really good conversations where both sides get to explain their understandings; in turn, these conversations can possibly lead to change in opinions or to compromise. Agreeing to disagree is not a bad thing. In fact, healthy relationships should have differences in points of view that are acknowledged and respected. Engaging in conflict when unity is the goal is a solid way to strengthen a relationship.

God gave each of us a different path to walk down. By trying to please others above Him, we are ignoring His perfect plan for us. May I be more confident in your plan for my life that has eternal significance than in the temporary applause and approval of people!