How Emotions Can Be A Sign of Strength

“Don’t let them see you sweat.” “Fake it till you make it.” “Conceal, don’t feel. Don’t let it show.” On the surface, these quotes seem to be harmless, motivational even. After all, we can’t go around unloading our feelings on everyone who passes by. However, I think there is a real danger in pretending we don’t have feelings. Instead of seeking to repress our emotions, I think it is healthy to express them.

This past week, North and South Carolina have been hit by Hurricane Florence. With her, Flo brought record rainfall, damaging winds, and frightening storm surges. Residents of the Carolinas have wrestled with feelings of confusion, fear, uncertainty, and overwhelm. There is nothing that can prepare you for such devastation. During this kind of devastation, well-meaning friends may tell us to “have faith” or “remember how God is with us”. While these words may be true, they are not often helpful. This advice may lead us to wonder if our emotions are valid. Additionally, we may think that our emotions are a sign of weakness.

Here are a few thoughts I’ve been processing about emotions:

Emotions do not point to a lack of faith.

Often, the expression of strong emotions immediately elicits the judgment of a lack of faith. Strong emotions do not point to a weak faith. We can all breathe a sigh of relief. In the Gospels, we read the story of how Jesus calmed a storm. After a long day of ministering to the masses, the disciples went out on a boat with Jesus to “go across to the other side of the lake” (Luke 8:22). Jesus, given his humanity, was tired and took a nap. All at once, a severe storm came upon the boat so the boat “was being swamped by the waves” (Matthew 8:24). Rightfully, the disciples were in fear of the raging sea. They woke Jesus saying, “We are perishing” (Luke 8:24). Jesus responded by asking, “Where is your faith?” (Luke 8:25) In asking this, Jesus was not condemning the disciples for fearing the storm, but rebuking them for not trusting what He had previously promised. In responding to fear with the belief that “we” (including Jesus) were going to die in route, the disciples were not putting their faith in the promise keeper. Much like the disciples, we can let our emotions drown out the promises God has already spoken. Our lack of faith exists when we let our emotions blur the words of truth God has spoken over us. We must both experience strong emotions and remind ourselves who is Lord of the storm.

Strong emotions remind us that we cannot do it alone.

The desire to withhold strong emotions is the desire to control things on our own. We think if we can mask our deepest feelings, we are independent and strong. We were never meant to do this life on our own. Consider the story of the Sea of Galilee; the Gospel of Luke clearly states those in the boat “were in danger” (8:23). Jesus teaches us a valuable lesson by inviting the disciples on a trip lined with danger. He put them in a situation that He knew would evoke fear to show them that He is there in our strongest emotions. God does not just want us to be His children when we “have it all together”. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds”. Our Father does not reject us in our strongest emotions but desires to be invited in. As Jesus was asleep on the boat during the storm, the story seems to be reminding us that God never leaves or forsakes us. During the storms of life, we can trust that God is still there. When we get to the end of ourselves, we see that God has been there all along.

Faith is not void of fear. Often, our greatest expression of faith will be accompanied by a healthy dose of fear. Jesus’ closest disciples, the ones being mentored by Him, experienced uncertainty. Jesus Christ, flesh and blood was pouring into them daily and they felt unsure. Should they or we be faulted for responding to life in our humanity? Should it be called “weakness” when our feelings surface? From what I’ve experienced these past few days, I can say that strength is found in allowing God access to the broken spaces in your heart. It is strength to come to the end of your abilities and cry out to God. “God, this is too much for me. Please come and do what only You can do”. May that be the prayer of our hearts.